06 January 2009

The Red Binder™

A while ago, there was an email passed around the office featuring the ultimate stress-relief for the workplace: The Red Binder™. The Red Binder™ could be inconspicuously left on any office shelf, ready to be called upon in moments of undue stress (such as the announcement of company-wide layoffs) or moments of ultimate celebration (like the anouncement that smarmy jerk who works two cubicles over from you was canned for accidentally sending filthy midget porn to the boss). As you can see from the photo above, the Red Binder™ holds enough alcohol and glasses for a small office party. Obviously, this is something we could all use on the job.

Shortly after the Red Binder™ email was circulated, Brian found these products in an old 70's catalogue. It seems that the Red Binder™ is actually a variation of something that travelling executives and swingers like Plaid Stallions spokesmodel Brick Mantooth keep in trunks of their cars in the event that big deal (or big party) needs to be immediately celebrated with copious amounts of liquor.

These travelling bars are also the perfect solution for those of you that made ridiculous New Year's resolutions to curb your drinking while getting yelled at by your wife/girlfriend for getting pissed up on Grey Goose and making a complete ass of yourself. The "Perfect Travelling Companion For The Man On The Go" can be easily hidden with the family luggage, and called upon when you realize that promise to quit boozing was a little more difficult than you envisioned. The combination lock on some of these models is also a perfect way to keep your snooping kids or drunken in-laws from draining your stash while you are at work, shopping with the wife or any other activity that would make you thirst for a nice belt the moment you arrive home.

All in all, these are great throwbacks to a time when everyone took a fully stocked bar with them on the road, to the beach or to that barbeque at the swingers' place down the road. They are a lot nicer than the plain-jane Red Binder™ we are left with in modern times, and are much better choice for the travelling alcoholic.


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