Waterloo Radlermass

" Lemonade Lager" jumped out at me as I picked up this throwback to the shandy craze of the early 80's. While I personally tend to dislike "flavoured" beers, I have enjoyed Waterloo products enough in the past to give this one a try (I think it may be their wild pig motif that does it). The Brick Brewery website had this to say about the German-inspired creation:

After World War I, bicycle riding became popular in Germany. A local innkeeper opened his own watering hole and arranged for a bike trail through Munich to his alpine meadow, only to find some 13,000 cyclists had descended upon his establishment and almost depleted him of his fine beer. Quick thinking led him to mix a stock of lemon soda with his remaining beer and he called it Radlermass (Radler meaning cyclist and Mass means litre of beer in German), which became a wonderful refreshing summer drink.

I can only imagine what a bunch of half-drunk Germans thought when they suddenly realized their "fine beer" had been cut with lemonade, but I digress. As for our own experience, Brian, Liquor Piglet and I chilled the can down to serving temperature and noted the 4.8% abv. The brew poured clean without any sea monkeys or any discernable odour. We tipped our glasses back and discovered Waterloo Radlermass has an initial fruity, citrous taste which is quickly followed by what Brian described as "a boot mark on the back of the tongue". It became obvious that this product contains much more lemonade than beer, and was a little too fruity for our likings. Overall, I wouldn't call it bad or good and I could see how it could quench a dire thirst on a hot summer day. However I can safely say that I could never get drunk on it without becoming violently ill. Liquor Piglet fared the worst during this tasting, as she absolutely hated this concoction. As she put it, "when life gives you lemons, there really is no need to make lemonade beer."

Final Review:
Brian - 6
Liquor Pig - 6
Liquor Piglet - 2 ("Only because I didn't vomit.")

Livivske Premium Lager

This one was another find at the 'shwa LCBO on my way up to Mad Dog Johnny's sisters place in Tweed for an afternoon of 12 gauge mayhem. I had never aven heard of "AbIBCbKE" beer before, so it was a given it would be reviewed. After we had wasted several hundred rounds of ammo and ate dinner, we sat down to some serious drinking and after everyone was feeling pretty good, I pulled out the "mystery beer".

Further inspection of the lable states this one is "Livivske Premium Lager" but gives no indication of the country of origin. Everything else on the lable was written with words that were seriously lacking in vowels, so we could discern nothing more about it. We sat out four glasses and poured some samples. The lager was a very clear golden colour with a white head and no sea monkeys whatsoever. We took our samples and drank. I could detect no odour from the beer and it initially seemed like a crisp lager. Mike stated "I'd buy this. I could totally see myself drinking it". Gillian (who by this time was 3/4 through a magnum of blush wine) said she liked the taste, but "it may just be the wine". Mad Dog Johnny stated that "it doesn't taste like I'll shit blood tomorrow." What a charmer.

However, as we took another drink something strange happened. We all detected what seemed like a taint in the ale. It started on the tongue and covered the inside of the mouth like a film. At that point, Mike and I had reservations about this one and I saw Gillian pour the rest of her sample into Johnny's glass. Not good at all. The taint on this ale was enough to turn us all off it, and I hazard to guess what a good drunk on this stuff would do to you. In the end we unanimously decided that "AbBIBCbKE" was likely Russian for "The Taste of Chernobyl." This isn't one that will be getting a second chance from me.

Ochakovo Premium Lager

Being laid up on Percocet after oral surgery has somewhat affected my ability to update this blog, mostly because opiate-based painkillers lay me out cold and booze just makes it worse. However, I did dig up an unpublished review from last St. Patrick's Day when Mad Dog Johnny came by for a piss-up and a traditional Irish corned beef dinner. I had picked up this oddity at the Mississauga LCBO by my sister's house, and we sampled it while the corned beef was boiling. While I am unable to deciper the Soviet cyrillic alphabet, I did determine that this lager is brewed in Moscow, Russia by Ochakovo Breweries and has an abv of 4.5%.


The first thing I noticed was the ingenious pop-off cap the Russians included as part of the packaging, which eliminates the need for a church key or Bic lighter to open your ale. The cap comes off quite easily, and the beer did not show any kind of flatness or deterioration of quality. As I poured out two glasses, a lacy head formed over the golden lager. I handed one to Johnny and with a hearty sláinte, we raised our glasses. Before the ale even went down Johnny's throat, he commented that the smell of this hooch was "more invasive to the nasal passages than lo-grade cocaine." I tipped my glass back, and found the taste was very similar to generic American lager. While it wasn't the best lager reviewed on this site, the pull-ring opener was novelty enough to justify the purchase. Fans of other Russian lager like Baltika 3 may want to try it for comparison.