Ochakovo Premium Lager

Being laid up on Percocet after oral surgery has somewhat affected my ability to update this blog, mostly because opiate-based painkillers lay me out cold and booze just makes it worse. However, I did dig up an unpublished review from last St. Patrick's Day when Mad Dog Johnny came by for a piss-up and a traditional Irish corned beef dinner. I had picked up this oddity at the Mississauga LCBO by my sister's house, and we sampled it while the corned beef was boiling. While I am unable to deciper the Soviet cyrillic alphabet, I did determine that this lager is brewed in Moscow, Russia by Ochakovo Breweries and has an abv of 4.5%.


The first thing I noticed was the ingenious pop-off cap the Russians included as part of the packaging, which eliminates the need for a church key or Bic lighter to open your ale. The cap comes off quite easily, and the beer did not show any kind of flatness or deterioration of quality. As I poured out two glasses, a lacy head formed over the golden lager. I handed one to Johnny and with a hearty sláinte, we raised our glasses. Before the ale even went down Johnny's throat, he commented that the smell of this hooch was "more invasive to the nasal passages than lo-grade cocaine." I tipped my glass back, and found the taste was very similar to generic American lager. While it wasn't the best lager reviewed on this site, the pull-ring opener was novelty enough to justify the purchase. Fans of other Russian lager like Baltika 3 may want to try it for comparison.